Task
Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work.
How do you think children should spend their free time?
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.0 score.
To a large extent, I believe that children are given too much free time
Free time in my opinion refers to time not spent under the direct supervision of a parent, teacher or a person enthrusted with the responsibility of bringing up the child
such time is often spent on several things such as watching television, playing with friends, going to parties, doing home work, playing games on their own amongst others
Amongst all of the above, a child could either be influenced by his or her peer group especially when left without attention or be influenced by what he or she watches on television most of which are those not meant to be viewed by the child’s age group
In my opinion, most of the formative years of a child should be spent doing school work, engaging in recreational activities that would develop the child emotionally and mentally. I believe this strongly because at a young age, a child is quick to grasp most of all that is seen or heard
For instance, a child who is not used to doing more school work usually referred to as house work
Examiner’s Comment
The answer addresses both ideas put forward in the task, and the writer’s point of view is clearly stated throughout. He presents relevant main ideas and draws appropriate conclusions from these. However, the response is unfinished and this means that some of the ideas are rather generalised and would need more support. The opening sentence is copied and the whole answer is underlength, so it loses marks for this.
The writing has clear organisation and some sophisticated use of link words and referencing. However, paragraphing is not always logical as it is organised by sentences rather than topics.
The range of vocabulary and structures is very good with a high level of control and precision. Complex ideas are expressed in a sophisticated way and most sentences are accurate. There are only rare errors, e.g. in spelling and subject/verb agreement.
