Task
You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you went to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you.
Write a letter to the train company. In your letter
- describe the problem you had with the tickets
- say why you were unhappy with the staff
- suggest what action the train company should take
Examiner’s Answer
This model has been prepared by an examiner as an example of a very good answer.
Dear Sir or Madam
I am writing to complain about the information on your website and the service I received at Central Station. Yesterday my elderly uncle and I arrived at Central intending to use the tickets we had purchased online to travel to Newcastle at 5.50pm. Unfortunately, we were told that our tickets were for off-peak and we couldn’t use them.
When I bought the tickets, it was not clear on the website that they were just for certain times. This needs to be clarified on your website as I can’t be the only one who has made this mistake. However, what really upset me was the unhelpful manner of the staff. When we asked what to do, instead of helping us to pay the difference and catch our train, the attendant waved us in the direction of a ticket machine with a long queue. We missed our train and waited an hour for the next one. Please train your personnel to be more proactive in future.
I hope you find this feedback useful and take it on board.
Yours faithfully
Examiner’s Comment
This is a very strong response to the task: all three bullet points are addressed with a good level of detail, and the tone is suitable for a letter of complaint. There is clear progression throughout the letter and a very natural style.
The range of vocabulary is wide and includes many higher-level items [unhelpful manner of | pay the difference | direction of | proactive]. There is only one slip [off-peak / off-peak travel].
Overall, the response includes a variety of complex grammatical structures [intending to use], with numerous long sentences containing a number of clauses, including past perfect and modal forms [had purchased | couldn’t use].
This is already a very high-level response. To improve it, the final bullet point could be developed further, perhaps with an example of how the staff could be ‘more proactive’.
