Task
In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.
Do you agree or disagree?
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score.
Our world is fulled of amazing places and almost every people would to visit such ones. On holiday they are given this opportunity and people leave their country and travel. But what they will choose in the future?
In my opinion, most people will prefer to spend their holidays travelling. First of all, people are fed up with own country and they will be in the future, especially. They want to try and see something new. Secondly, travelling improves language skills, broadens the horizons, gives an opportunity to communicate with foreigns. People learn about culture, taste local food.Thirdly, they get an brilliant experience which they will never forget.
Nevertheless, it is believed that people will leave in own country. To begin with, there are a lot of places in their country which is worth to visit. People think that it is enough for them. There will be more entertainment and interesting places in the future than nowadays. Of course, people will not want to go far if they have everything what the need in own country. What is more, much money is spent on travelling, so people will save it and travel towns in their country only.
I do not agree with this opinion. I think, people will a lot of opportunities to earn money in the future as the world is developing very quickly. So they can afford travelling.
To sum up, travelling abroad on holiday has as many advantages as staying at own country. But I strongly believe that people should not afraid of leaving their country. I hope, they will search another places all over the world.
Examiner’s Comment
The candidate looks at both points of view, presenting and developing ideas for each one as well as giving his/her own point of view early on in the answer.Organisation is evident and there is a clear overall progression. Some cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the response [In my opinion | First of all | Secondly | Thirdly | Nevertheless | To begin with | I think | So | To sum up]. The range of vocabulary is sufficient for the task [amazing places | travelling | see something new | broadens the horizons | entertainment], although there are some errors in word formation and spelling [fulled / full of | leave / live| foreigns /foreigners | another / other places]. The meaning is still clear, however. There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, with a reasonable degree of accuracy. Sometimes words are omitted [every people would (like) to visit | in (their) own country | travel (to) towns | will (have) a lot of opportunities | (be) afraid] and there are some lapses in grammatical control [But what they will / But what will they | which is / are worth to visit / visiting | everything what / that the / they need], but again the meaning is still clear.
