Task
You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job.
Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter
- describe the problem with the equipment
- explain how this problem is affecting your work
- say what you want the shop or company to do
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I work as a Houman Resourse manager and I do all my work at home. Few months ago I needed to buy extra hard driver for arrange my all work files. I bought sony 1000GB hard driver from your store in O’connell street in May. I was really happy to use this hd until yesterday. Yesterday morning I started to use work files from hd but was reading so long and at least it stucked I tried turn on and off computer but still same and couldn’t open the files.
I was have many works should finish by yesterday. Also all of my meeting appointments files was in that hd but all cancelled because I couldn’t see the time and places. Yesterday afternoon I called to your customer service but they explained that I have to wait 3 working days.
I have many urgent metters in this hd so I couldn’t wait to fix that so long. This hd have still a guarantee.
I have request to fix this hd and recover all my files by today!
I belive you are good and well known company so I’m waiting for your best and user friendly service as soon as possible.
Thanks and regards
Examiner’s Comment
The response covers all the requirements of the task, shows a clear purpose and uses an appropriate tone. All the bullet points are well covered. Organisation is logical and there is a clear progression throughout the response. Cohesive devices are used flexibly. The range of vocabulary is sufficient and appropriate for the task, and, although there are errors [Houman Resource | hard driver | at least | metters], the meaning is still clear. There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but complex structures are produced less accurately than simple forms [I was have many works should finish by yesterday | … I couldn’t wait to fix that so long].
