Task
You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course.
Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter
- describe what you enjoyed about the course
- say how much cooking you’ve done since the course
- suggest another cookery course you’d like the school to offer
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.0 score.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to provide a feedback on the “Kitchen Wonders” cookery course I have taken recently. As my cooking had become more and more complimented since, I would like to take this opportunity to express my appreciation for the evolution I have attained from the course.
Albeit a short and basic course, it contained useful tips on using cutlery and cookware which were entirely new to me. Having always cooked by instinct these tips (enabled) brought to light simple mistakes I had been making, which now I avoid. Moreover, I particularly enjoyed the “Kitchen Hacks” module, and its techniques have brought my cooking skills to a new level.
I have been using these lessons on weekends, when I normally cook for my family, and the difference is clear.The effect the course had on my dishes has been remarked on some occasions, and this new found ability has been raising expectations as the word spreads throughout my relatives. Still, I am confident they shall not be disappointed.
I intend on honing this skill further, especially since the course did not address dessert-making. Should such a course be offered, I would be delighted to enroll and keep collecting awestruck expressions from my relatives. I really appreciate the results your course has provided me, and I look forward to even more.
Sincerely,
Paulo
Examiner’s Comment
The response covers all the bullet points and develops them at some length. The purpose is clear and the only inconsistency in tone is the use of [Sincerely] to close the letter. Information and ideas are logically organised and there is a clear progression throughout. There is a range of cohesive devices, used appropriately [Albeit | it | which | these tips | moreover], for example. The range of vocabulary is wide enough to show some less common items and collocations [cooked by instinct | brought to light | Kitchen Hacks | new found ability | honing my skills | awestruck], with only minor errors [The effect the course had on my dishes has been remarked (upon) on some occasions | enroll / enrol]. There is a variety of complex structures, with frequent error-free sentences and good control of punctuation with only a few errors.
