Task
You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job.
Write a letter to this friend. In your letter
- say why he/she would not enjoy going to college
- explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her
- suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7 score.
Dear Haruka.
Hello Haruka. I am writing a reply to your letter that asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. I think trying to get a job is better for you. I would like to write reasons why.
At first, I will mention about disadvantage of going to college. I think you would not enjoy it, because in a college, especially Japanese college, you could only meet people who are around the same age as you. You must have already met such people in your junior high school and high school. In addition to it, many students tend to just have fun with friends beside study. The reason why this happen, it is usually very difficult to enter Japanese colleges but to graduate it is not so difficult. For that reason, many students tend to just have enjoy, like having parties, going out, going travel. However, college costs a huge amount of money on you. The fee of it is not cheap of course. I think it is waste of money to go to college.
Next, I would tell you why getting a job is a good idea for you. The most valuable point is experience. Not like college, you can see many people from different ages than you. By talking with them, you can get many knowledge of life and it would be good for you. Not only from people, you can also get important experience from working. You could know how different it is to earn money and also you can know many social system as well.
Lastly, I would like to suggest the types of job that would be suitable for you. I think you are good at talking with people, so the reception of a company, school or hotel would be good. You can meet not only collegue but also many people of customers. If you would get a job at a hotel, you can use your English skill as well.
In conclusion, I should try to get a job for these reason. Good luck for you
Examiner’s Comment
The response is relevant and appropriate. The candidate presents each bullet point clearly and extends/supports each one well. Ideas are logically organised and there is clear progression throughout the response. Use of discourse markers is managed somewhat mechanically (At first, However, Next, also, Lastly, as well, In conclusion), but there is good use of other cohesive devices such as reference and substitution, although there are some instances of inaccuracy (it, such a people, the reason why this happen, For that reason, most valuable point, them, for these reason). The range of lexis demonstrates some flexibility and precision, as well as an awareness of style and collocation (disadvantage, around same age as you, just have fun with friends, very difficult to enter Japanese colleges, graduate, huge, not cheap, waste of money, reception, collegue/colleague, customers, English skill), although occasional errors in spelling and word formation occur. A variety of complex structures is attempted, but the grammatical control is variable: this lack of control is probably the weakest aspect of this script.
