Task
Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.
Why do many working people not get enough exercise?
What can be done about this problem?
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.5 score.
I agree, that many working people not get enough exercise, and than they have health problems.Now we can see a lot of people who have problem with weight. For example in America they have a big problem with this, but another side, they have a lot of fitness club, GYM, and it is cheep to go there. But most of them laizy to do something or they have a lot of work and have no time to practise sports I can’t understand it. I think it depends on lifestyle and person. Everywhere you have to work, sometimes on a two jobs, that have money for life, for your family. But you can see for example of the famous people. Everytime they they are busy, but they find a time to practise sport.Not just famoust people, I said it depends on people. I used to practise sport. It started When I was child and I try don’t give up because I like it. I can don’t go to the GYM, for example, one month, but after I can’t sit on the one place and do nothing. I need it, I want to be tired. And now this is my lifestyle and I think, that I never give up. What can be done, that people start to do exercise? First you have to make yourself to do something. For example, do exercise in the morning, after You need to follow what you eat. Because now people like eating fast food, they have no time to cook at home, but it does not matter. And just one day stand up and go to the gym and start to practise. And everything will be okay!
Examiner’s Comment
The candidate addresses both parts of the task, but does not develop them sufficiently to achieve a higher score. Some of the response (about his/her personal experience) is not relevant. Information is presented with some organisation and there is some sense of progression, but the response would achieve a higher rating if it was better organised and used paragraphs to develop the different parts of the answer. The range of vocabulary is just about adequate for the task [problem with weight | fitness club | GYM | practise sports], but there are spelling errors in even quite simple words [than/then | cheep/cheap | laizy/lazy | famoust/famous]. The range of structures is limited, with frequent use of short, simple sentences. Complex sentences are attempted, but usually contain errors [Now we can see a lot of people who have problem with weight. | I try don’t give up | I can don’t go to the GYM | make yourself to do something] and this sometimes causes difficulty for the reader.
