Task
The system used for rubbish/garbage collection in your local area is not working properly. This is causing problems for you and your neighbours.
Write a letter to the local council. In your letter:
- describe how the rubbish collection system is not working properly
- explain how this is affecting you and your neighbours
- suggest what should be done about the problem
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.5 score.
Dear local authorities,
I am writing because there is a problem with the rubbish collection in my local area. The rubbish has not been emptied from the bins for three weeks and there are rats and flies all over the area.
Today I was going to take my childs school. We walked out the door and arrgh we see a BIG horrid rat. My childs screamed. I wos frightened and I screamed. My neighbour came out from his house and he saw a big rat too. Oh no this is so bad. Today my childs come home from school but did not want to. If he can stay at school he wants to stay there to not see the rats.
Now there are so many flies. When I went to the bins I saw so many flies. They are dirty with deseeses. Also My neighbour came out and he saw the flies too.
I think you need to empty the rubbish to stop the rats and flies. If not we will get deseeses and be frightened to go out from our house. Please can you come this week and put the rubbish from my bin in to your rubbish collection truck.
Sincerely
Examiner’s Comment
This script directly addresses the requirements of the task: the purpose is clear and all the bullet points are covered adequately, in spite of some irrelevant details. The opening to, and the closure of, the letter are not appropriate however, particularly as the instructions for this task say ‘Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,’. Information is presented in an organised way, helped by the use of paragraphs and appropriate, if basic, cohesive devices [Today | Now | Also]. The range of vocabulary is just sufficient for the task, but there are noticeable spelling errors [wos frightened | deseeses] and errors in word formation [childs]. There is a mixture of simple and complex sentence structures. Errors occur in some time/tense relationships [we see/saw | come/came home from school], but other examples of similar structures are produced correctly [We walked out the door | My neighbour came out and he saw].
