Task
A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advice.
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter
- explain why you think our friend would enjoy a camping holiday
- describe some possible disadvantages
- say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score.
Dear Emily,
I haven’t seen you for a long time so Iam very excited to meet you. I know that you are thinking of going on a camping holiday this summer for the first time. Iam very happy about that and Iam always ready to give you some advice.
Camping holiday is a wonderful idea. Especially in this summer. I think that not only do you want to go camping holiday in summer but also a lot of people because that is the best time for people to enjoy the life after hard-working day. One of the most important reason why you should go camping is that you are able to see the views and meet a lot of people. That is a chance for you to understand more a lot of culture in our country which you have never known before. The other reason is that you can take part in some social activities which are very interesting. On the other hand, going camping in the summer has a lot of disadvantages. In the first place, it will have negative impact on your skin so you have to wear hat before going camping outside. Secondly, it is easy for you to be ill because the weather in summer is quite hot so you have to prepare medicines before. I would also like to go camping with you this summer because my holiday in summer is very long so I hope that you can go on a camping holiday with me.
Hope to meet you soon.
Your close friend
Examiner’s Comment
The writer has addressed all three bullet points and organisation of the information is generally clear. There is some repetition[camping holiday] which could be avoided by using alternative words or phrases e.g. this kind of holiday. The range of vocabulary is sufficient for the task and there is some good use of collocation[a wonderful idea | the best time | see the views | meet a lot of people | understand more a lot of culture | take part in some social activities]. There is a mix of simple and complex structures with a fair level of accuracy. Occasional errors occur[Iam / I am| Especially in this summer (sentence fragment) | One of the most important reason(s) | it will have (a) negative impact on | prepare medicines before / in advance], but the meaning is still clear.
