Task
Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep.
What problems can lack of sleep cause?
What can be done about lack of sleep?
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.0 score.
In the modern world, it is argued that sleeping is not taking seriously as before. Some factors which influence this trend can be managed.This essay will discuss problems caused by lack of sleep and give possible solutions to avoid lack of sleep. It will outline the ineffeciency of human beings as a result of lack of sleep and point at the importance to reducing work overload to sleep well as well as mantaining diet, physical and mental health.
Lack of sleep can cause inefficiency in human beings which results in accidents. Fatigue and tiredness tend to overwhelm human beings when they lack sleeping. The body requires enough rest and when this is not permitted it will shut down anytime. Overworking causes body to be sore. A body which is sore from overworking might not get enough from a sleep but requires treatment. Accidents in roads and at work are sometimes a result of non sleeping people. When a body is sore performance is decreased. It is advised to take enough sleep in order to perform duties swiftly. Accidents causes serious damage in human life there it is encouraged to take enough sleep to avoid mishaps.
It is now an individual call to be responsible in doing what is best to avoid consequencies of not sleeping. Reducing work overload is of the solution to combat fatigue. It is not advisable to work overload as this causes the body to be sore. Healthy eating according to dieticians provide remedies to human health. This greatly constitutes to the communications of mind and body and work for those who are consistent on the practice. Normal hours of working time per day and correct diet is essential in mainting a wonderful balance in sleep and work.
In conclusion sleeping is essential. Work overloads should be reduced and deiting as well as physical health are encouraged. Governments and stakeholders must pernalise those who work overwork themselves by more tax.
Examiner’s Comment
The writer addresses both parts of the task, presenting ideas and developing them. The writer’s viewpoint is clear throughout the text. Ideas are organised logically, there is a clear progression and each paragraph has a clear central topic. The range of vocabulary shows a number of less common items [fatigue | overwhelm | treatment | performance | mishaps | combat | dieticians | remedies] although there are occasional errors in spelling [ineffeciency / inefficiency | mantaining / maintaining | consequencies / consequences | mainting / maintaining | deiting / dieting | pernalise / penalise] and word choice [constitutes / contributes]. The word [sore] is overused and there are occasional errors in the use of dependent prepositions e.g. [point at / out | importance to / of]. There is a variety of complex structures used with good grammatical control. Occasional errors occur [is not taking (taken as) seriously (as) | causes (the) body | is (one) of the solution(s)] but the majority of sentences are error-free.
