Task
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common.
Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.
Technology nowadays is playing a major role in day-to-day life. It has made almost all activities very much easier. It has given us many benefits. One of the major benefits in today’s life is’Online Payment’.Today,I am going to highlight the positives and negatives of the same.
When the E-commerce websites were launched, people were very much pleased with the option of paying online, but they consider bit risky then. Net-Banking was not that very common. People were not able to believe or put trust Therefore, they preferred’Cash-On-Delivery’. But when gradually time passed, people were comfortable with the’Net-Banking’ option and they used it, without any fear.Then the concept of’E-wallet’ came which meant that the payments were made using the mobile phone apps. One such popular application now-a-days is‘Paytm’. In this, you have to make your own account, and store some amount of money from Bank-Account.This is like a wallet where you directly pay your day-to-day transactions using this. This is increasingly becoming common from a small shops to big transactions. Each and every people are aware with this, specially after the demonetisation, where the major concept was going’cash-less’.
People generally don’t see this as an disadvantage, unless and until the application is leaking same details of users, as is not registered or not reputed. So, we can say that 9 out of 10 people are agreed and comfortable excluding its negative element.
Examiner’s Comment
The candidate covers all parts of the task, putting forward many of the advantages of using mobile phone apps to pay for purchases. The reference to disadvantages is rather brief, and the score might be improved by further discussion of these.Ideas and information are presented logically and there is a clear progression throughout the answer. Cohesive devices are used, including some reference [they used it | In this | This is like a wallet] and paragraphing is used adequately.The range of vocabulary is wide enough to show some les common items and collocations [a major role | highlight | websites | paying online | risky | transactions | leaking | registered] with only occasional errors [from a small shops / shop | specially / especially | same / some | reputed / reputable]. The opening paragraph consists entirely of simple sentence structures, but the range broadens later to include more variety. The majority of structures are error-free, although occasional errors occur [they consider bit risky then / they considered it to be a bit risky then | People were not able to believe or put trust / People were not able to believe or put trust in it | pay (for) your day-to-day transactions | Each and every people are aware with this / Each and every person is aware of this | an / a disadvantage].
