Task
Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment.
What damage does plastic do to the environment?
What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.0 score.
Nowadays, our environment suffers from plastic packaging and plastic bags, plastic does a great damage to the planet. In this essay, the actions how to solve the plastic problem will be mentioned and what can be done to lower the use of plastic packaging will be discussed.
Firstly, plastic products are usually thrown under the ground, so that it is able to cause ground pollution, the soil becomes poor. It is one of the reasons why trees and plants do not grow as they used to fifty years ago. Secondly, production of plastic causes air pollution. Factories that produce plastic bags, packaging and other plastic products emmit exhaust fumes to the atmosphere. All of the facts mentioned can prove that plastic pollution plays the leading role in the list of environmental problems.
What pollution abutement can be done to lower the risk of Earth damaging? First, plastic bags can be changed to bags made of natural materials like clothes of wood. To realize this, factories should lower the production of plastic bags and change them to more natural products. Moreover, the problem of ground pollution because of plastic production should be discussed in social media to let people know the scope of plastic problem. Second, already used plastic can be recycled in other products. There is a Russian programm of recycling plastic into T-shirts, caps and even balls for football and basketball.
In conclusion, I would like to say that, nowadays, pebble appear as the main reason of environmental problems, the manufacturing of plastic products increases the risk of the further Earth life. Everything should be done to lower the risk of destroying the planet.
Examiner’s Comment
This is a strong response which addresses all parts of the task. It has an introduction to the topic, refers to ground and air pollution and presents solutions to address the problems identified. To score more highly, there could be a clearer outline of what ‘governments’ and ‘individuals’ can do. Ideas are logically organized into four paragraphs, including an introduction and a conclusion. Within the paragraphs, we can see sequencing [Firstly | Secondly] and other cohesive devices [Moreover | In conclusion], as well as some effective referencing [All of the facts mentioned | change them].
There is a wide range of vocabulary and evidence of the ability to convey precise meanings [exhaust fumes | leading role | scope | risk of destroying the planet]. There are occasional errors in spelling [emmit / emit | abutement / abatement | programm / programme] but generally good control over word choice.
The writing also shows a variety of complex grammatical structures with frequent error-free sentences. We can see a range of tenses, including modal forms [can prove that | should be done]. There are a few errors remaining, e.g., with articles [plastic does a great damage | scope of plastic problem] and prepositions [main reason of / main reason for].
