Task
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes.
What are the reasons for this?
Is this a positive or a negative development?
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.0 score.
The practice of training physically with personal fitness guides is getting increasingly common in some nations. Therefore playing sports or taking part in physical exercise courses are less preferred. From my perspective, this acts as a desirable development as it provides people with a multitude of benefits.
The growing need for personal trainers can be attributed to the following reasons. Firstly, due to the speedy pace of modern life, people are getting busier with their jobs as well as basic daily chores such as housework. As a result, taking part in a mutual exercise class is quite impossible for busy people as they can hardly flexibly fit themselves with the schedules of other class members. Hiring a personal trainer seems to be the most appropriate resolution to the problem, since people will no longer depend on others’ timetable and they can do exercise with their trainers whenever they have free time. Secondly, joining a mutual class offers few opportunities to have private conversations with the teachers. The reason is that there are often a large number of learners in a class and teachers can hardly answer all members’ questions. Likewise, personal trainers are responsible for one student per class, which enables students to have more time to consult their teachers.
The increasing demand for personal trainers has made significant improvements to modern people’s lives. It is a new and suitable way of managing time efficiently, especially for those who have a little fund of time.
In conclusion, I hold a strong belief that hiring personal fitness trainers, which is time-saving and of remarkable convenience, has made positive changes to the way people doing exercise.
Examiner’s Comment
This response presents the position clearly, that this is a positive development overall. The first question is fully addressed, and the reasons presented include the fast pace of life, busy jobs, daily chores, and the inability to fit in with the schedules of other people. For a stronger response, more could be written about the second part of the question, on why this is a positive development.
Ideas and information are logically organised but paragraphing could be used more appropriately, as the third paragraph is not well developed.
Vocabulary is the strongest feature and is fluently and flexibly used, with some precise meanings [multitude of benefits | consult their teachers], but occasional inaccuracies in word choice [mutual | group | flexibly themselves with | fit in with?] or collocation [fund of time] remain. There are also a variety of complex grammatical structures with multi-clause sentences and frequent error-free sentences.
