Task
You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking.
Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter:
- say which part-time course you booked
- explain why you need to cancel your booking
- ask about booking a different course
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score.
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is Gonzalo and as you already know I have booked in one of your part-time courses, Business Administration. I would like to know if there is a possibility to change my course.
I chose this program because I wanted to improve my knowledge on that specific area, as you know I have been working for 10 years to have my job. However, recently a great friend offered me a opportunity to work as a graphic designer in his own company. To be honest, I am about to make the biggest change in my career ever.
The main reason why I am getting in contact with you is because I need to change my program and find a new one in my new area. Is there any necessary arrangements for booking a different course? Should I pay an extra fee to be able to change? How exactly works to change to a different course? Those are my questions and I am need of some guidance.
Best regards!
Examiner’s Comment
This is a good response which addresses all three bullet points. Details about the course and the reasons for the cancellation are given. There are also several questions that ask about booking another course. The correct format for a letter is used, but there is a change in tone in the closing formula [Best regards!] which is too informal for this context.
Ideas are logically organised into three paragraphs, addressing each point in turn. Cohesive devices are used [However | To be honest] with some effective referencing [on that specific area | my course | his own company].
The range of vocabulary is adequate with some attempts at less common items [necessary arrangements | need … some guidance], but a wider range would be needed to score more highly. This response includes sentences with multiple clauses including [if] and a range of tenses and question forms. However, there are more than a few errors [Is there / Are there | I am need of / I am in need of] which lower the overall score.
