Task
You are a member of an International Students’ club. The club is organising an event to celebrate popular food from around the world.
Write a letter to the event organiser, Luis. In your letter
- offer to make a popular dish from your country
- describe what this dish is
- explain why it should be included in the event
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.0 score.
Dear Luis,
I am writing to inform you that if it is possible can you please tell the couzine to prepare some special traditional food from my country. Which is called baby corn grill for me.
This very healthy and sweet as you probably know. We are going to do a physical exercise in the club, I need to have it, because it has a huge benefit for me to against the other team. I had an experience in my country everyone must have this dish and they have done a good job, because of the digestive of the food. However, you must not eat a lot because it contains variaty of proteins. Just normal grill without any seasoning and addictives.
You should remember to let them know about that if not I will not do my best in this event.Hopefully it’s ready before we start.
I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.
Kind regards,
Examiner’s Comment
This response is an attempt to address the question, but the candidate has misunderstood the requirements. The bullet points ask them to offer to make this popular dish for the club event, but this response asks the manager to arrange for the dish to be prepared. This also affects the third bullet point, where instead of explaining why the dish should be included in the International Students’ club event to celebrate food, the candidate explains why their sporting team would benefit. The score for Task Achievement is affected by this inaccurate content.
Apart from the inaccurate details, there is a sense of coherence within the letter. There are linking devices [because | However | Hopefully] with some use of referencing [it | me | other team | this], but there are errors [This very healthy / It is very healthy].
Vocabulary is good enough for the task. There is some accurate use [special traditional food | seasoning] but with frequent lapses in word choice [couzine | digestive of the food] and spelling [variaty / variety | addictives / additives]. Similarly, grammatical structures are limited. There are some accurate structures, including ‘if’ clauses, modals, and a range of tenses [if it is possible | need to have | have done | must not | should remember]. However, errors do occur frequently, and punctuation is faulty and missing altogether in some places [about that if not I will not].
To achieve a higher score, the letter needs to fully address the task, and demonstrate a greater level of accuracy with vocabulary and grammatical structures.
