Task
Nowadays famous people are photographed by professional photographers everywhere they go. Some people say this is a good thing because the public are interested in their lives. Other people think that photographers are wrong to follow famous people.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.
It is always a debatable topic whether photographers should follow famous people to get information about their lives. One class of people says it is good and photographers should do it while another class comments that it is not good to interferes someone’s life. Before giving my opinion, I would like to discuss both the view points in detail as given in coming paragraphs.
There is one group of people who believe that photographers should always follow well known celebrities and try to get photos and information about their life. As the fans of that particular celebrity are very interested in such news and information. By getting this type of details, fans would love to follow that person’s habits, style, clothing, etc. For example, one of my friend Ketul is a big fan of famous filmstar Salman Khan. He used to follow him and wearning same clothes, keeps similar hairstyle as Salman Khan is having. One more reason is that the photographers taking pictures of such famous personalities and spreading it via different social media makes that person more famous. In many cases, that celebrities like this thing.
On the other hand, another group of people believe that photographers should not do this. Following someone and taking pictures of his/her personal life is wrong. Celebrities are also a human being. They also want some space apart from their career. There are some cases where these personalities were upset and angry on photographers for doing this. For example, in December 2017, Priyanka Chopra (a famous actress) filed a case against a photographer for the same.
In conclusion, I would like to say that the photographers should do this but with the permission of that celebrities. Taking pictures of someone without informing is always wrong. Getting pictures of famous personality is people’s demand and famous people should always satisfy his/her fans by allowing photographers to take their pictures.
Examiner’s Comment
This is a good response. The candidate presents ideas on both sides (whether it is right or wrong for photographers to follow famous people) and gives a clear opinion at the end. There is a demand for photographs of famous people; some people think it is acceptable for photographers to go ahead, as the fans demand it (an example is given of a famous film star) and some celebrities like it, as it makes them more famous; and others think it is wrong, as celebrities are also human beings who deserve some [space] (an example is given of another celebrity). The conclusion draws both sides together.
The response is logically organised. There are a range of linking devices [Before | One more reason | On the other hand] and the candidate uses cohesive devices within sentences effectively, such as referencing [people who | that person | this type].
Vocabulary is good with some higher-level collocation [particular celebrity | taking pictures]. There are a few errors in spelling [wearning / wearing] and word choice, but they do not impede communication. There are a variety of complex structures and frequent sentences with multiple clauses.
To achieve a higher score, the candidate should demonstrate a greater level of accuracy with vocabulary and grammatical structures.
