Task
Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday.
Write a letter to your friends. In your letter
- thank them for the photos and for the holiday
- explain why you didn’t write earlier
- invite them to come and stay with you
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.0 score.
Dear Taufik and Lina,
I’m so glad receiving your photos when we were in Singapore. The photos are so nice and bright. They remind me for my special holiday with you.
I’m sorry because I don’t write a letter to you as soon as possible. After I came back to Melbourne, my boss asked me to had two weeks training in I came back to Melbourne, my boss asked me to had two weeks training in Wellington, New Zealand. I don’t’ have any time to tell you because it happened suddenly.
My company wants to change the system of the computer into the online system. All of the staffs must have training first, before the system running.
I hope you can come and stay with me during next holiday. My address is: 888 Little Collins Street, Melbourne, Victoria, 3000. You can contact me first if you have a plan to visit.
Thanks for your kindness and I’m looking forward for your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Victor
Examiner’s Comment
This answer does not cover the bullets well because there are no thanks for the holiday and giving the address is not logical in the context. The second bullet is given rather too much focus, so the purpose of the letter is less clear, and the tone is inappropriate at the end of the letter. The information is organised according to the ordering of the task, and although few linkers are used, there is some clear referencing. The range of vocabulary is rather restricted, but generally sufficient for the task, although inappropriacies and some word form errors occur. A mix of structures is attempted but short, simple sentences are frequent. Control of tenses and verb phrases is weak in more complex structures and this impacts on the message at times.
