Task
On a recent holiday you lost a valuable item. Fortunately you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost.
Write a letter to the manager of your insurance company. In your letter
- describe the item you lost
- explain how you lost it
- tell the insurance company what you would like them to do
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.0 score.
Dear Sir or Madam
On my recently holiday trip which was in thailand for week. I lost my luggage in which I had too many irhiport documents and my gold watch which I bought from Singapore for someone, which costs me $1500 australian Dollar. Fortunately this comes under my travel insurance which I did from your Insurance company. I have all details of this watch including Tax invoice receipt.
It happens when we enjoyed in a hotel. Later on we forget our one of the bag in a local taxi we tried to find it, but all in vain due to shortage of time.
I would like to request you that I want a claim for it. So In future we being your regular customers by paying all premium and instalments.
I will send you all my policies numbers or other thing in your given address.
Thank you
Yours truly customer
Examiner’s Comment
The answer addresses all the bullet points but does not cover them adequately, either through insufficient information (the second bullet point) or through lack of clarity (the third bullet point). The purpose of the letter is not always clear. Although organising the letter in line with the bullet points provides some logic, linking devices are not effectively used. Reference and substitution occur but are often unclear. The range of vocabulary is limited but just adequate for the task. While there are no spelling errors, inappropriate word choices and faulty word formation require the reader to make some effort to understand the letter. Complex sentences are attempted, but are mainly limited to ‘which’ clauses. Frequent grammatical errors and faulty punctuation cause the reader some difficulty.
