Task
The diagram below shows how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Candidate’s Answer
This is written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score.
The diagram shows how electricity is produced by geothermal energy. There are five general steps in this process. First, in a big box connected undergrownd, cold water is accumulated in order to be pumped down about 4.5 Km.
After that, water is heated passing trough hot rocks called Geothermal zone and it is pumped up in order to be condensered in a big conteiner. At this point, water is in a gas state and it is put in a turbine which moves it in a circle movements. Then, the final step is to use a generator in order to water be powered and energy can be produced. Finally energy is trasladated to a energy tower.
In sumary, the geothermal power plant is used to create energy in some steps: heating cold water by a geothermal zone and condensering it in order to put it in a generator turbine which is who produces the energy to be used.
Examiner’s Comment
The candidate has provided a clear introduction and an overview of the key stages of the process. Each stage is identified and described, although there are some minor errors in the reporting of stage 5. There is room for expansion of the description of each stage, which could help to achieve a higher score. There is a clear overall progression, with each stage being signalled by appropriate markers [First | in order to | After that | At this point | Then, the final step | Finally]. These markers are adequate, but a higher score might be achieved by varying their position in each sentence, rather than always placing them at the beginning. The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task and there are attempts to use more variety here [five general steps | connected | accumulated], though there are some examples of error in word choice [box / tank | a circle movements / a circular movement], in spelling [undergrownd | trough | conteiner | sumary] and in word formation [condensered / condensed | gas / gaseous | trasladated / transferred? | condensering / condensing]. There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including accurate use of passive forms. There are some errors [a / an | who / what], but otherwise the level of accuracy is good. The same level of accuracy, over a wider range of sentence forms, would increase the score on Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
