Task
The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Candidate’s Answer
This is written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.
The graphs represents what UK graduates and postgraduates did after leaving college in 2008.
On the first graph, it shows that 17,735 graduate students sought part-time employment in 2008 while 3,500 did voluntary work and 29,665 decided to seek further study. According to the graph, 16,235 graduate students were unemployed after college, which is roughly almost the same amount as those who sought part-time work.
On the second graph, we see that 2,535 UK postgraduates did part-time work while only 345 did voluntary work. 2,725 UK postgraduates decided to study further which is slightly more than those who decided to take part-time employment. Lastly, 1,625 UK postgraduate students were not in the work force. The overall trend shows that most of the students, graduates and postgraduates alike, sought out further education while only a small number of students in both groups did voluntary work after leaving college. We will also notice that about a third in each group were unemployed. Lastly, the only difference that we will notice between the two groups is the percentage on the amount of students who went on to do part-time work with only one-third of the total amount in the graduate students and almost one-half with the postgraduate students.
Examiner’s Comment
This response reports the data on the bar charts accurately and gives an extended overview at the end. Information is logically organised and there is a clear progression throughout. The message can be followed with ease as a range of cohesive devices are used flexibly. Referencing and substitution are also well managed, however there are lapses in paragraphing. A range of vocabulary is used with no spelling errors, though word choice is not always appropriate (to seek further study, roughly almost, the percentage on the amount of, overuse of sought). These errors do not detract from overall clarity but they do reduce the communicative effect. A range of complex structures is also used accurately. Error-free sentences are frequent and only a few mistakes occur (The graphs represents, we will notice), so grammar and punctuation are generally well controlled.
