Task
Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.5 score.
In recent years. government focuse on improving quality of life, that would bring a lot benifits for citizens. Such as. communication, transportation, health care. Some arguement that built railways is more useful for local people than roads. In my opinion, it is good idea that more train sation is built. There are some reasons.
First of all, it reduced pollution when more people give up driving to work in weekday.Nowaday, people spend a lot of time on the road in rush hours. At the same time, emissions of car bring a pollution in our enviroment. People easily get upset, if they got into traffic jam for longtime. Research has shown that it is get more pollution of air that car stoped on the road without cutting power. Trainstation is a good way to make easy that train never could get into congestion and train is a public transport which is more helpful to reduce air pollution.
Secondly, it solved congestion on the road while many people commute by train, nearly years, a number of car is growing. So, a question that a number of car is over volumed of road is following. This caused traffic jam have being horrible problem. However, the train will take more people to go to their destinations without waiting on road in rush hour. It is more convience for citizen.
Finally, taking public transport is cheaper than privatcal vichele. People could save money to do others they intrested.
Overall, government pay more money for building railway. It bring more it is a good decision that advantages than drawbacks.
Examiner’s Comment
The candidate puts forward three reasons for why he agrees with the statement and develops/supports the first two of these. Further support and development would be necessary to achieve a higher score here. Organisation is evident, with some simple cohesive devices (sometimes used inaccurately) (First of all, Nowaday, At the same time, Secondly, This, However, It, Finally, Overall), and there are attempts to use paragraphs to present ideas. The range of lexis is generally adequate and appropriate (pollution, driving to work, rush hours, emissions, environment, traffic jam, congestion, public transport, commute, destinations, advantages, drawbacks) and although there are spelling errors, these do not usually impede communication. The candidate attempts to use complex sentences (relative clauses, if clauses), but error levels are high and there are also quite frequent errors in punctuation.
