Task
The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Candidate’s Answer
This is written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.0 score.
The table below shows the amount of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the years after and the year before it was modernized. After the table there is the charts that show the result of surveys asking people how satisfied they were with their visit thos museum, during the same two periods.
It is obviously that the numbers of visitors significantly increased after the refurbishment from 74,000 before the reconstruction to 92,000 after it had been done. Now lets look at the charts. The year before refurbishment shows a negative pattern the results of survey illustrate that only 15% of visitors were very satisfied and the number of dissatisfied people was 40%. The year after refurbishment illustrates that the number of dissatisfied visitors declined and became 15%, on a contrary, people who were very satisfied increased to 35%. Comparing the amount of satisfied visitors we can also see an upward trend (it increased from 30% to 40% after the refurbishment).
To sum up, we can say that all work that has been done to attract new visitors to Ashdown Museum has reached its aim.
Examiner’s Comment
The candidate covers the main features of the table and charts, and gives a satisfactory overview of the data. The information is logically organised with a clear progression in the way points are presented. Cohesive devices are used effectively (during the same two periods), but not always accurately (on a contrary). A range of vocabulary is used flexibly (shows a negative pattern, illustrates that, an upward trend, has reached its aim), but there are occasional errors in word choice (the amount of visitors, It is obviously).The candidate has used a variety of complex structures (the charts that show the result of surveys asking people how satisfied they were with their visit, after the refurbishment from 74,000 before the reconstruction to 92,000 after it had been done). There is good control of grammar, although there are a few minor errors (there is the charts). Punctuation is generally well controlled, but full stops are missing at the end of the first and final paragraphs and there are a few minor errors (lets look).
