Task
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Candidate’s Answer
This is written by a candidate who achieved a Band 4.0 score.
According to universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject Therefore, this essay will show some reasons of argument for and argument against
Firstly, I will discuss about two reasons of argument for to begin with universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject because it will be balance of idea while studying In general, there usually are different ideas between man and woman These lead to, new ideas from different vision will happen Another reason is it display that have equal of society not eccept in each side In addition, nowadays, the most societies become to accept ability of both in any way
Secondly, I will discuss about one reason of argument against that is some subjects not suitable for each other For example, some subject of sports such as weight putting It is not suitable for female of sports such as weight putting It is not suitable for female because there are different of body between male and female
In conclusion, I agree with universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject Moreover, it depen on what the subjects that the students want to study, they can choose by themselve because I believe that if the students like to study their subjects, they will do it well so that I strongly agree with this topic
Examiner’s Comment
It is difficult to find the main arguments in this answer. There are long, formulaic introductions, not many ideas that deal with the actual issues and the writer’s point of view is not consistent. The prompt is copied directly three times in the response and the remainder is underlength at 181 words, so marks are lost for this.
The response is organised into sections, but the relationship between ideas is not always clear and the linking expressions are sometimes inaccurate, as in the opening paragraph, or used in a mechanical way, as in the second paragraph.
The dependence on formulaic language and the input material indicates a limited range of vocabulary and there is a lot of repetition and inaccuracy. A range of structures is attempted, but control is weak. Errors in grammar and punctuation are frequent and cause problems for the reader.
