Task
Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.
Since our job takes the majority of our daytime (or nighttime, that’s depend on the job) our colleagues are a important part of our social life. We see them everyday and we usually have to interact with them many times. Do those interactions have to stay strictly professionnal or is it better including them in our private life?
First, that’s depend on everyone’s personnality. Some people are good to keep distance during the working time’s interaction, keep neutral conversations and separate clearly the private life and professionnal life. On a other side, some people can’t control it and their personnality will push them to be friendly with people who they get along with or be distant to people with who they feel inconfortable.
In fact, it is important to feel good at work. A heavy atmosphere caused by tensions between coworkers could effect very badly out life even when we come back home.
Socialize with the work colleagues in the free time can be a good occasion to know people better, away from the working stress and pressure. We can discover another part of their personnality, hobbies, or personnal problems and then we can be more able to understand them during hard time at work.
Of course sometime in an other hand some matters can appear when the line between private and professionnal life start to be fuzzy. For example, when two coworkers become a couple and continue to work together or when a friendship between two coworkers can be gossips’ start point.
But since we are all humans with our own sensitive points, it is important to be to keep a good atmosphere at work by speaking out all the problems to release all the tensions. Communication is the key but also sharing a good time with coworkers away from work can be a nice way to understand more each other.
Examiner’s Comment
This is a good response. Ideas are presented on both sides and there is a clear opinion at the end. The desire to socialise is related to personality; some people would rather keep their distance, others are always friendly. The candidate presents the advantages (improved working atmosphere and better understanding) and the disadvantages (relationships that get too close).
The response is logically organised. There is a range of linking devices [First | In fact | Of course] with some errors [On a other side / On the other hand]. Cohesive devices within sentences are used effectively for referencing [some people … their | them | they | each other]. Paragraphing is not always logical; the third paragraph is very short and could be usefully joined to the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary demonstrates an appropriate writing style, with collocation [strictly professionnal | get along with | tensions between coworkers | release all the tensions]. There are errors in spelling, but they tend to be the same errors for the same words [professionnal / professional] twice and [personnality / personality] three times. There are some errors in word choice [speaking out | talking about], but they do not impede communication. There are a variety of complex structures and many sentences with multiple clauses.
To improve the response, paragraphing could be more logical and there should be fewer errors in vocabulary and sentence structure.
