Task
Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this?
What are the advantages and disadvantages?
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score.
It is very common for many people to spend most of their lives living in the same city they were born. There are many reasons for that, but in my opinion there are more pros then cons to live in the same city.
Some advantages to live in the same city that you were born are you will be close to your family and that means you can have more support for them, for example, emotional or financial support or even advices. Another good point is you will see your nephews grow up and more important than that, you could help to take care of your parents when they get older. What is more you might have a lot of friends and if you live in the same city it is very easy to keep contact with them. Also, you will know the city, where it is good to have fun, where it is safe etc.
In the disadvantages side, if you live in the same city where were born you probably will lost the opportunity to meet people from another city. Also living alone far of your family you will grow up and be more responsible. What is more, you can have more jobs opportunities, because you can try to find a job in any city. Also you will have more adventures.
Even with some disadvantages, I thin there are much more advantages to live in the same city that you were born.
Examiner’s Comment
After the introduction, this response moves immediately into the advantages and disadvantages. This means there is no real reference to the first point, the ‘reasons’. If the candidate had included the ‘reasons’, this response would have scored more highly.
Paragraphing has been used to organise the ideas in this response. There is an introduction, a conclusion, one paragraph for advantages and another for disadvantages. Some effective cohesive devices are used, but overall, the response is a little repetitive [Also].
Vocabulary is appropriate but the range is restricted, and sentences are generally short which limits the score for grammatical structures. Although the candidate is able to use a range of clauses [if you live | because], this is with some error.
