Task
You have seen an advertisement from a couple, who live in Australia, for someone to teach their two children your language for a year.
Write a letter to the couple. In your letter
- explain why you think you would be suitable for the job
- say what else you could do for the family
- give your reasons for wanting the job
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.0 score.
Dear Sir and Madam,
I am a long standing Indian citizen who works as a professor in the Giujarat University, Guijarat,India. I am writing this to apply for a job at Hindi language teacher, what you are looking for your chids.
The foremost reason of applying for a job is I have done PHD in Hinda literature successfully from the reputed Giujarat Univerity of India. Besides this I am teaching the Hindi language professionally since last 15 years. I have a wide experience of teaching among different institutions and from the children to younger one. Considering all these factors I feel that I am a suitable candidate for this job.
Moreover, I can also teach the Hindi language to other family member if required so I can make you all aware about Indian culture and its traditions, as I have a vast knowledge of all that too.
As I already have so many years in my home country India, now I want to migrate to different nations of the world so I can learn about the people, their culture and traditions. I will also provide me the opportunity to gain knowledge and some invaluable experiences. I strongly feel that coming to Australia could be great opportunity for me.
In anticipation waiting for your positive response at earliest.
Yours faithfull,
Vipal
Examiner’s Comment
This is a quite formal letter of application, but the tone is consistent throughout and all three bullet points are addressed, extended and supported. Information is logically organised and there is a clear progression throughout the answer. Cohesive devices are used and paragraphing is appropriate. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to show some less common items[long standing | citizen | invaluable] and collocations [wide experience | suitable candidate | vast knowledge | great opportunity], although there are occasional errors [Giujarat / Gujarat | at / as | chids / children or kids | Hinda / Hindu | family member(s) | I will / It will | faithfull / faithfully]. Similarly, the grammatical range is wide enough to demonstrate a variety of complex structures, used with a good level of accuracy. There are occasional errors in the use of articles and tenses, but the majority of sentences are error-free.
