Task
The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Candidate’s Answer
This is written by a candidate who achieved a Band 4.5 score.
This chart shows the energy comsuption of an average Australian household and how propotion of emitting greenhouse gas in each type of active.
First, the most bigger different informations are using heating and other appliances, relate to 42% and 15%, but they going up side down in gas emittions, which is 15% and 28%
Secondly, using energy of lighting and refrigeration are similar change in greenhouse gas emittions.The former using 4% energy and produce double number of emittions to 8%.The latter have the same situation about 7% in using energy but emit 14% greenhouse gas.
The last two parts of things are water heating which is second large source of using energy and the smallest cumsuming energy one= cooling. Indeed, there are just a marginally change in greenhouse gas emittions which grow from 30% to 32% and rise from 2% to 3%.
Examiner’s Comment
The response generally addresses the requirements of the task but there is no clear overview. Key features of the two pie charts are presented but not adequately covered, and there is a tendency to focus on details without referring to the bigger picture. Organisation is evident. The relationship of ideas can be followed (and, First, but, Secondly, The former, The latter) but the sentences are not fluently linked to each other. Vocabulary is limited but just adequate for the task. Simple vocabulary is used accurately but the range does not allow much variation in expression. There are noticeable errors in spelling, though these do not cause strain. A limited range of grammatical structures is used; subordinate clauses are rare and most sentences are simple. Even simple sentences often contain errors (The latter have), so grammatical errors are frequent and can cause severe strain for the reader. Control over sentence formation is weak.
