Task
Many museums charge for admission while others are free.
Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Candidate’s Answer
This is written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.5 score.
Museums are unique places where you get to experience the history from past to the latest technology. However admission is required when entering.
Museums are popular places to go to on a weekends with family or friends. Admissions are one of the funds which keeps the museum running and also to maintain its exibits. Without admission museums would be dirty, pourly maintained, and likely impossible to operate, unless funded from goverment or charity.
However admissions are one thing which may keep the customer from entering. Usually we have to pay around $30 for admissions. Children or family which doesn’t earn much simply can not afford such amount. They will go to museum which is free or even not go and experience the greatness of the museum, which I think is horrible because it should be open for everyone.
I think having an admission is a disadvantage since museums should be open for everyone, but admissions are essential for running the museums. So I think it is very important to come up with a plan so that museums could be operated but also be admission free, such as goverment funding or doing a charity. Auckland Museum is one great example. It is one of the biggest museums in New Zealand but it is also free of admission since it’s goverment funded.
Examiner’s Comment
This script is too short at only 219 words, so fails to meet the minimum word count required by the task. However it does address all parts of the prompt, and presents a relevant position. The main ideas are clear and developed but could be more fully extended and supported. Information is arranged coherently and there is a clear overall progression, with adequate use of linking words (However, also, Usually, since, but, So) and paragraphing. The vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriate for the task (funds, maintain) and meaning is generally clear. However, misuse of the word admission and other slight inappropriacies (doing a charity) show a lack of precision in word choice. Many different complex structures are used but there are still fairly frequent errors. However, these rarely impede communication; in general, grammar and punctuation are fairly well controlled.
