Task
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Candidate’s Answer
This is written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.5 score.
For many people around the world, the preferred method of transportation is high-speed rail. Communters travelling to and from work rely on the safety and efficiency, whill tourists appreciate the convenience and novelty that trains provide. Others believe that highways, busses and regular trains should be improved before new, high-speed lines are added.
Safety is cheif among concerns for those who travel to work or school on a regular basis. If one drives a car, they have to concentrate on the road not only to avoid accidents but also to prevent other drivers from causing a problem on the road. High-speed rail allows the communter to leave the driving to the professional controlling the train, allowing them to get some work done while getting to work safely.
In addition, people tend to move further and further away from city centres, where land and houses are more affordable. High-speed rail allows these commuters to travel greater distances in a shorter ammount of time. There is a flow-on effect here, because if we can reduce the number of cars on the road, we can also cut down on traffic jams and road delays.
On the other hand, high-speed trains are expensive, and some believe this money could be spend on repairing motorways which are used by cars, busses and motorcycles. Another possibility would be to use this money to build more regular communter trains and busses to service the ever-expanding urban populations. Moreover, boats and ferries could benefit from a budget which focuses more on existing forms of transport.
In the end, public transport is an issue which affects us all. The taxes which we pay should be spent on the type of transport which will have the most benefit to all citizens. In addition, we need to take into account how much the environment is damaged by fossil fuels and pollution. therefore, I believe in order to move forward, we need to embrace the idea of high-speed rail so that future generations can continue to live safely and efficiently.
Examiner’s Comment
This is a good response which would achieve an even higher score if there was more focus on large sums of money and on between cities. The writing is well organised and there is a clear progression throughout, although the use of some cohesive devices could be more flexible. There is a wide range of vocabulary, used appropriately and naturally, [preferred method of transportation | leave the driving to the professional | more affordable | ever-expanding urban populations | embrace the idea of], but some spelling errors are noted [Communters | whill | cheif | ammount | busses]. There is a wide range of structures and again, these are used flexibly, however there are occasional errors in punctuation.
