Task
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Candidate’s Answer
This is written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.0 score.
it is good to show children living a freedom environment, because it could help children to grow stronger and confident. But it depends on the age of the child, forexample a little children can not choose clothes and they also like to eat sweets all the time.
When the children is free to their choices they could make mistakes so parents should not dictate children what want, but guide to the right path. forexample most parents in western world teach their children arguing rather than smagging when they do something wrong. When children are tought to do their own choice could easily manage their affairs, when grow up.
children may sometimes give a good opinion, so that it is good to understand rather than upsetting them. Many parents In Africa do not believe of listen children, that is cause many African children become vandals and aggressors toward the community.
if we teach our youngers to determine their own choices, they will show respect to their ad community in is general because they never felt oppressed and they would not bother to any when they get older.
over all, when we listen our children that we make their future personality better. parents should respect children. Same like adults. When the parents try to refuse children something they should justify to them why they refused explain to them the reasons.
Examiner’s Comment
This is an attempt to address the prompt and some main ideas are put forward, but there is no discussion of is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. This omission, and the fact that the response is underlength, limit the Band score rating. Organisation is evident, however the answer lacks contextualisation, and cohesion within sentences is sometimes faulty [that is cause many African children to… | they will show respect to their ad community in is general]. Vocabulary is the strongest aspect of the response [confident | make mistakes | dictate | the right path | do something wrong | manage their affairs | vandals and aggressors | determine their own choices | show respect | oppressed | respect children | justify] and although spelling errors occur, they do not generally prevent meaning from coming through [because | taught | smoking]. Grammatical control is variable: some complex structures are produced accurately while other, simpler, forms contain errors. Punctuation and capitalisation are also sometimes faulty.
