Task
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Candidate’s Answer
This is written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score.
In my opinion I think every subjects is important for us. We have to learn everything through our past, present and future. Some people say that History is one of the most important school subjects it’s true but it has to go along with today’s world which is science and Technology. How can we move without our history, the people behind us “The ancient people” is the most powerful people who pushes us to move forward. The taught us how to fire a light, How to find a food, How to lives with other and animals, How to survive and others. Of course we wouldn’t know that without them.
Without Science and Technology we’re just a normally humans being. We spend our daily life with no useful. Without them we have no light we have no food, we have no comfortable stuff and things. Old people can survived without these things. Humans creates lots of invention to give an unlimited wants of people based on a limited government.
May I gives one example of the development of science and Technology. With this two things it give us a chance to be a member of ASEAN “Association of South East Asia Nation” we can be able to communicate with the other 9 countries with the high technology. it help us to be a TEAMWORK with the 9 other countries to develop our country. help us in terms of transportation, communication, collaboration etc. it can definitely hold on to that hope that in the near future.
Overall economics can totally achieves. it is a fact that the member of the member of the ASEAN have differences in term of political standing, culture and traditions but it’s not a problem with our help I know that there’re a bright future are waiting for all of us. and that is a reason why History, Science and Technology is important
We use History to learn about others, their culture, their tradition to be understand each other more and more and using science and Technology to help us, our country, our world to be moving forward, to help each other and to give a bright chances and future for everyone, especially kids give a chances to them to study, to go to school, to get knowledge so the next ten years, twenty years to the new up coming year all of them can help each other to pass these chances to other kids go on and on.
Examiner’s Comment
The writer addresses all parts of the prompt and outlines why the various subjects are all important, supporting these ideas with relevant examples. Although the organisation is sometimes confused, there is a sense of progression and a definite conclusion is reached. Cohesive devices are used effectively [In my opinion | Of course | especially]. Referencing is generally accurate [we wouldn’t know that without them | these things | that hope | that is a reason why], but there is one error [With this / these two things]. The range of vocabulary is quite varied [go along with today’s world | to move forward | daily life | transportation, communication, collaboration etc. | political standing, culture and traditions], though errors occur [every subjects / subject | normally /normal human beings | a bright chances / chance], while a reference to [stuff and things] suggests the writer struggled to find more precise terms. There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including different types of subordinate clauses [Some people say that… | …which is science and technology | … people who pushes / push us to | The / They taught us how to] and although errors occur, these do not usually cause misunderstanding or difficulty for the reader. Punctuation is sometimes faulty, particularly omission of full stops.
