Task
It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes.
Do you agree or disagree?
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.0 score.
The clothing and fashion market in one of the largest in options and price level. It is possible to find a wild range of stores and manufacturers across the cities and malls all around. However, what are the quality offered and what is the budget people are willing to spend on it? In which situation expensive tailored clothing are better than cheapen numerous clothes?
Some say that prioritising quality is always better, as well as having exclusivity. Needless to say that having a good wardrobe with high quality clothing is a dream for most women, since our attires are way more demanding than the simplicity of male style. In my opinion, is a wonderful feeling to purchase something of greater price as one can be sure about the durability and clear better appearance of the product.
The second option, having the capability of purchasing clothes in big quantities for a lower price, has its downsides. One of them is that quality is not the main concern, whenever in a popular store is possible to find objective peaces among the piles. Another point is durability, the bigger the role the less the products will last. Every laundry load is a struggle with pieces loosing color and fabric thickness. It is also valid to point out that they are made in large scale and it is not difficult to see random people wearing the same shirt. In the long term people will spend around the same amount of money replacing their low cost clothes, what refutates the positive side of spending less.
In conclusion, good quality clothing under higher price basis can be of advantage in many ways in comparison to more popular and less expensive products.
Examiner’s Comment
This is a strong response. Both parts of the question are addressed and it is clear that the option of buying fewer expensive clothes is preferred. The candidate emphasizes the quality, exclusivity, and durability of expensive clothing, and presents the downsides of cheaper clothing. Ideas are logically organized with clear progression through the paragraphing. The second paragraph addresses the benefits of buying expensive clothes and the third paragraph addresses the benefits of cheaper clothes. A range of cohesive devices is used appropriately, with linking devices [Needless to say that | In my opinion] and referencing [our | they | their].
Some consideration of any disadvantages of expensive clothes or any advantages of cheaper ones would improve the score for this task.
There is some flexibility and precision in the vocabulary used [prioritizing quality | having exclusivity], but there are a few errors in word choice [wild range / wide range | attires… demanding / outfits…? | greater / higher | role / ? | objective / quality? | refutates / refutes? counteracts] and one spelling error with the homophone [peaces / pieces]. Greater control of word choice would improve this score. A variety of complex structures are used with frequent error-free sentences, but a few errors remain [are the quality / is the quality].
