Task
The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Candidate’s Answer
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.
The given diagram illustrates the various stages in the process of producing ethanol, a kind of biofuel.
Overall, there are about 9 main phrases in the ethanol production, starting with growing plants and tress, and finishing with supplying ethanol for transportation and gas mission.
At the first stage in the process of making ethanol, a large number of trees and plants are grown. Thanks to the source of energy from sunlight and carbon dioxide from humman and transportattin, plants and trees grow up and are harvested when they are mature enough. After being collected by machine, they are put into another machine where slice them into small pieces to form cellulose. This step is called pre-processing.
In the following stage, cellulose is taken to a factory where “processing” stage occurs.
Subsequently, sugars are extracted from original cellulose before microbes are added to make ethanol. It is then used as a type of fuel for a lot of means of transportation such as cars, trucks, airplanes. Finally, a huge amount of carbon dioxide which is released into the air becomes energy for the process of “photosynthesis” of plants and trees.
Examiner’s Comment
This is a strong response. The first short paragraph is an introduction, then the second paragraph contains an overview of the process [starting with growing plants] and [finishing with supplying ethanol]. This is sufficient as an overview, but the candidate should also summarise the main stages. The rest of the response presents and highlights the process.
Ideas are logically organised and the response follows the order given in the diagram. There is good use of linking words to describe a process [At the first stage | After being | Subsequently] and other linking devices, including reference and substitution [they | then used].
The candidate uses vocabulary well with some flexibility [extracted photosynthesis], but there are a handful of errors [phrases / phases | tress / trees | humman / human | transportattin / transportation | tupe / type]. These errors do not get in the way of the meaning.
Grammatical range is quite broad and there is a variety of complex structures and sentences with multiple clauses. There are a few errors [where slice them / which slices them].
To achieve a higher score, an overview which summarises the main stages should be presented, for example: This cycle for biofuel production involves three main stages: harvesting and preparing plant material for processing, producing ethanol by chemical processing, then using the fuel for transportation, before the cycle begins again.
