Task
The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Candidate’s Answer
This is written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score.
In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4,806 people. There’s a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However, the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000, which probably made people take the train more often. There’s a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people, where it was only 13 in 1985
Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.
Examiner’s Comment
This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately.The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarise trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.
Nevertheless, the information is organised and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.
The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.
