Task
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Candidate’s Answer
This is written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. I think that the cause of these problems are due to unhealthy lifestyle and the lack of exercise.
Nowadays, people are getting more and more lazy. They want convenience in everything when they come home from work, they will have microwaved dinner or fast food so that they do not have to take the trouble to prepare a meal or wash up after dinner. The introduction of fast food is also the main cause of unhealthy living. People are opting for a fast food restaurant meal rather than a simple home-cooked meal. Yes, your burgers and pizzas taste better than a home-cooked meal but think of all the calories you are swallowing. The oil they used to fry your fries. It is literally black. Eating too much fast food will also lead to health problems. Sugary drinks, packaged chips, candies, and chocolate are also some of the causes that contribute to an unhealthy lifestyle. Heavy consumption can lead to weight gain and diabetes. I think that the main cause is the lack of exercise. As you grow older, your metabolism rate drops. Even if you are eating the same amount as before, you will still gain weight. The one and only solution to this is exercise. The recommended exercise per day is at least 30 minutes of brisk walking. This target can be easily achieved if people do not drive to work. They can take a bus or a train and get off one stop earlier than walk to the office. Every little bit counts. When you come home from work, you can play with your kids or take the dog for a walk. Anything to get your attention away from the couch. More exercise will suppress your cravings for sugary stuff.
People should also balance their diet. For example, by eating more vegetables and fruits. Eat less meat and drink plenty of water throughout the day. Organize time with your family to take a walk outdoors to enjoy the scenery rather than cooping yourself in the house. This is healthy living for the body, heart, and the soul. It is also less likely to fall sick if you do plenty of exercise as your body is strong enough to fight off illness and diseases.
Examiner’s Comment
There are relevant main ideas, although the supporting examples are sometimes less appropriate. The answer is organised with some good use of connectives and time-markers giving an overall progression to the argument. There are also mistakes, however, and some lack of linking between sentences. Paragraphing is used, but is not always logical, and the concluding paragraph is confused. The range of vocabulary is the best feature of this script, and includes some good use of natural expressions and idiomatic language. There is some inappropriate use of a less formal style at times, but control is generally good. There are few word choices that are inaccurate, and errors in word form and spelling are only occasional. A variety of sentence forms is used with accuracy and fluency, but there are a lot of short, simple sentences that reduce the range of complex structures. There are grammatical errors and omissions, but these are not frequent.
