Task
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Candidate’s Answer
This is written by a candidate who achieved a Band 4.0 score.
In the Recent years, between the different countries, a lot of people keen on visit to other countries. Those people like to learn the different cultural and reconize different things from the other countries.
In my opinion, every host country should welcome cultural differences. Because the visitors were stay a short time for their journey. They will travel and shopping in the cities. Sometime, they can bring up the cultural and enconomoic were development.Althought, the language and the lifestyle are different, but we shall learn from their lanuage.
Some people cannot accept the visitors. I think they afair to effect the local customs. And… the don’t the visitors behaviour were effect to their countries saft.Therefore the cannot accept. The visitors might be the crime and except from their countries. However, they afaird the visitors whose will destronye their counties.
In summerise, the people should accept the host country and welcome cultural differences. They will earn a lot for other countries. such as cultural, reglious,knowledge, Arts etc, If they can accept the other countries visitors. They might be benefit a lot than they needs.
Examiner’s Comment
This answer is considerably underlength at 186 words and it loses marks for this. The writing tries to address the two points of view in the question, but it is so underlength that main ideas are not developed enough. The writer expresses a point of view, but this is not always clear for the reader.
There is a certain logic to the way the ideas are organised, and a range of logical connectors is used. However, these connectives are often inaccurate and at times it is difficult to understand the relationship between the points.
Control of vocabulary is weak and the errors in word form and spelling make it hard for the reader to understand the message at times. Phrases from the question are copied directly, even when inappropriate, and this reveals the limitations in the writer’s vocabulary. Similarly, there is poor control of grammatical structures, with mistakes in even simple sentences. Although there are occasional accurate structures, the number of mistakes causes great strain for the reader.
